Why do people pretend to be Navy SEALs?
Just like no one pretends to be in the Air Force or the Coast Guard, no one pretends to be an REMF FC3. Doesn’t matter what Ship you commissioned, doesn’t matter what your responsibilities were or even that you are no longer a ‘wog – No one pretends to be a Fire Controlman Petty Officer of the 3rd Class.
That is because the non-embellished sea stories we tell civilians when conversing about what we (the REMF) did in the Navy are mildly stupid and admittedly…downright boring, and you always end up paying for your own beer.
At the local pub
“Wow! You were in the Navy?”
“What did you do?”
“Rode around the world on a ship. Saw lots of stuff.”
“Yeah, but what did you DO?”
“I was a Fire Controlman.”
“So you can fight fires?”
“Everyone in the Navy can fight fires.”
“Well, if everyone else can fight fires, why do you?”
“What if the enemy’s stone cold killer, you know…the guy who is responsible for shooting guns and launching missiles…what if he kills everyone except me? What if I’m the last one around and I have to put out all of the fires?”
“If you were the only one left, why stick around and fight fires?”
“Because if I ran from a ship-board fire, the fires would eventually find me, and I would bring ironic-shame upon my uniform. Being a Fire Controlman and then getting killed by a fire? Dying because of a ship-board fire would be difficult for me to live with.”
“Why don’t they just figure out a way to prevent fires from ever happening on a ship? Why don’t they make someone responsible for protecting the ship from attacks?”
“They do. His job is to kill anyone or anything that gets too close to the ship.”
“COOL! What do they call him?”
“A Fire Controlman.“
Also published on Medium.