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How to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory | Huawei Rubs Butts with ‘Force Touch’

Is there a recipe or some procedure that that can guarantee you a fail?

Is it possible to use something…some kind of technology that is so new or curiosity piquing, but when you decide to showcase it…people find out that you don’t know what the hell to do with it?

What does that say about your engineering prowess?

What does it mean when you design new technology onto a platform and showcase that it is….absolutely useless at the moment?

While you may be thinking this is a classic Samsung failure (and there would be nothing wrong with that line of thinking considering feature dumping is Samsung’s favorite thing to do right after copying someone else’s work) it seems Huawei was perhaps looking for a self inflicted fail…Samsung style.

At IFA, Huawei announced the Mate S LE with ‘Force Touch’, being the first OEM to integrate pressure sensitivity on a phone display…but then they didn’t know what to do with it. So they made an app that weighs anything in the universe…as long as it’s inbeteeen 100-400 grams.

Huawei really blew it. They should have brought a couple of keys of coke into the conference and demoed how the MateS force touch is the first phone that allows you to weigh out some coke without the need for a triple beam.

Besides that, it will augment a one inch circle of screen video that is proportionate to the level of pressure you give it. Hole poking your phone to make the circle bigger could possibly entertain…a baby….for a minute or two.

Someone thought it would be ingenious to use the pressure touch screen to replicate exactly the functions of the OSK and controls by using a gesture to hide them, and then press where normally would be   to make the device do pretty much what it is supposed to do with the buttons visible…but for some reason it was better…or so he thought.

Most people learn early that useless features impact your product negatively.

Why?

Because people don’t want to buy something that was made by someone that has more stupid than they have. They want to buy something created by smart people, with smart solutions to challenges. That smart people seem to be able to detect before most.

For example:

Remember that commercial where 2 grown men meet at  a street corner on happenstance, and they are compelled to have their phones “Rub butts” together in order to share a file?

Let’s think about that one. Think about the last time you positioned your phone to rub-butts with another phone so you could get a important document:

##Scenario: In the exec office before an important customer briefing…

CEO: Who has the Hanson financials for the brief this morning?

CFO: On my Android right here Sir.

CEO: Excellent. I need a copy and so does  Jeff, can you forward what you have?

CFO: Yes…Or we could rub butts.

CEO: What?

CFO: Rub butts…Sir…phone butts

CEO: Donaldson…..what the hell is your problem…

CFO: That’s how I share files with the guys at the gym.

CEO: …by butt rubbing with the guys…

CFO: it doesn’t matter Sir, it’s impossible to do a 3-way butt-rub…phone design flaw…

CEO: Tell you what….take a few weeks off, figure out how to get that 3-way but rubbing to work, deliver the solution to Apple and then report to me.

CFO: iPhones don’t butt rub

CEO:….excuse me I need to make a call….(walking away) Hello Apple Store? Can I get 3….actually, can I just get 2 iPhones….today? Yes for God’s sake please today… Yes. Well…they don’t butt-rub do they?….never mind…just 2 iPhones….

——————————–

In this fake scenario, you can see how poor engineering, feature dumping or integrating features that don’t do anything useful can make your boss think you are a nut and give you a 3 week furlough…all because some knuckle head engineer in Tiawan thought it would be cool to build a ‘solution’ that doesn’t really solve anything except get you a ‘ I don’t want to see you for at least 3 weeks….you psychofreak-o-matic…’

I’m sure attendees at IFA are lining up at the Mate S demo so they can all poke the handset and make the hole on the screenbigger  by pressing harder.

Maybe Huawei could let 4 or 5 people poke the phone and make the holes bigger as a group….as a team building exercise?

I have put together some footage of a phone poking in slow motion, so you can see the intricate detail of what happens when a phone is poked…at 240 frames per second.

This should really be something special:

(Footage stolen from android central and recreated)

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